Crack Beat Scene edit- Beth

Scene 6: Crack Beat Scene

[Liberty and Beth cheerful and happy tone throughout]

Male Voice: Now we observe how our participants respond to orders.

Rose: Roger! Roger! I've just been round Mary's, I'm going to get the dinner going now, is that okay sweetheart?

Liberty & Beth: A good wife should always have the dinner ready; the prospect of a good meal is the warm welcome to every man

Ellie: No it's NOT okay!

Liberty & Beth: Today, baked goods. Apple pie, yum yum

Rose: Oh, I’m sorry honey, I’ll make it up to you, I'm making your favourite for dessert

Liberty & Beth: First we must prepare the apples...they must be sweet and delicate don't worry too much if the apple is bruised, no one will notice. [Exaggeration on 'chop' & 'crunch'] Now chop, dice, hear every crunch. Chop Chop Chop

Ellie: I've told you, YOU STUPID WOMAN that I do NOT like that. How many times do I need to tell you?!

Rose: I'm sorry.

Liberty & Beth: Next the pastry. [Slow pace down, soft whispering tone] Soften the butter between your fingers, add flour and blend the two together. Be very gentle.

Ellie: [Patronising tone] Hmm, so pathetic. [Caressing her face gently, moving face closer to hers, squeezing her face tighter in hands and forcing her face sideways to look at him] So beautiful. And mine forever, my wife.

Liberty & Beth: Now beat the pastry, this is great for relieving anger, tension. Don't be shy, beat beat beat!

Rose: Don't do that, it hurts.

Liberty & Beth: Don't be afraid to throw it about, use all your force. Use your fists to kneed it on the worktops.

Ellie: What did you say?

Liberty & Beth: [Exaggeration on 'Crack' & 'Beat'] Crack an egg. Now beat. This will be used to cover cracks later on, as no pie's perfect.

Rose: I said how was your day?

Liberty & Beth: [Exaggeration on 'Cut'] Cut the pasty to size, place on top and bake

[long pause] tick tick tick ping!

Ellie: Are you answering me back?

Rose: No, I said would you like roast or mash with your dinner darling?

Liberty & Beth: Remember for the pastry to work, you must....*

Ellie: (*Liberty & Beth: BEAT BEAT BEAT) ARE YOU ANSWERING ME BACK?!

Ellie: You Rose. Your place is in the kitchen.

Liberty & Beth: [sniffs] Mmm, the perfect way for a every woman to keep her man satisfied.

Scene order- Ellie&Beth

Okay so me and beth have put together an order of the scenes, have a look and see what you're thinking and also what we've missed out as we got a little confused!

1.Stair Scene-Ellie and Nicole
2. Modern day girls get ready for club
3. Club
4. Hairdresser scene (including hoover advert)
5. Tea (including cake advert)
6. Prison scebe mash up leading to 'crack crack'
7. Pageant Scene (including 'I feel like a woman song' and spot advert)
8. Date Scene
9.Phone conversation
10. End Scene...to be confirmed

Let us know crazy kids....

Protest at Miss World Article and Pictures- Beth

Protest at the Miss World 'meat market'

by Hazel Croft

This Saturday we will be subject to the degrading spectacle of the Miss World contest on television. Women will be paraded, ogled at and inspected like so many pieces of meat. They will be judged for the size of their breasts, the shape of their legs or the smoothness of their skin. A "bubbly" personality or an interest in "children or current affairs" may be an asset, but only if the contestant matches up to a stereotypical and sexist image of what is "beautiful".

In the 1960s Robert Morley, the founder of Miss World, summed up the "material" he was looking for: "Girls between 17 and 25, ideally five foot seven, eight or nine stone, waist 22-24", hips 35-36", no more no less, a lovely face, good teeth, plenty of hair, and perfectly shaped legs from front and back - carefully checked for such defects as slightly knocked knees." This disgusting stereotype bears absolutely no relation to the wide variety of shapes and sizes of women in the real world. Nearly half the women in Britain, for example, are size 16 or over.

Appraising our bodies in this humiliating way puts women under intense pressure to match up to the "perfect" figure. Women are made to feel like failures if they don't fit the stereotype. Millions of women become obsessed with whether they are too fat or thin, agonising over whether their thighs are too wobbly, their bums too big or their breasts too saggy. A minority of women completely ruin their health through starving themselves in pursuit of a "perfect" shape. The bosses of the beauty industry in Britain rake in some £8.9 billion a year by playing on women's insecurity about their looks.

Above all, Miss World sends out the message that women are not the equals of men and it helps to belittle women's role in society. What matters is not what we think about the world or whether we are talented mechanics or musicians, engineers or artists, but how we look. Our education, jobs and pay come second.

That is why the Miss World contest was one of the first targets of attack of the women's movement of the late 1960s and early 1970s. In 1970 over 100 protesters stormed the contest at London's Albert Hall. "We threw smoke bombs, flour, stink bombs, leaflets, blew whistles, waved rattles," described one of the women. "I felt the event symbolised my daily exploitation."

The protests were important in highlighting the degrading treatment of women and linking it to the wider oppression of women in capitalist society. When I was a teenager in the late 1970s it had become quite commonplace to describe the event as a "meat market". Me and my friends railed against women being seen as sex objects and spoken to like children. We kicked up a storm when we heard of plans for a mini Miss World type event at our local further education college.

In 1988 Miss World was finally taken off the TV screens. The sexist ritual no longer fitted so many women's expectations to be treated as the equals of men. So why is Miss World back on TV a decade later? The protests against Miss World in the late 60s and early 70s were part of an outward looking women's movement. Many of those involved linked women's oppression to the whole set up of capitalist society. Today those ideas have come under attack. "New lad" magazines like Loaded and FHM have taken degrading pornographic pictures of women off the top shelves and made them respectable.

Sadly too many "new feminists" and "post-feminists" have reinforced the idea that "anything goes". So too have a string of popular TV shows in recent years, for example The Girlie Show. That has helped create an atmosphere where Miss World boss Julia Morley can get away with calling the contest a triumph of girl power. "These girls are young and beautiful. They should make the most of their bodies while they can. That is what girl power is all about," she said. This turns the whole idea of women's liberation on its head.

Thankfully a new generation of young women, and men, are rejecting the sexism churned out by magazines like Loaded. The National Union of Students is organising a protest outside the Miss World contest at the Olympia stadium on Saturday. Let's make it is as angry, loud and disruptive as the demonstration in 1970!

Pageant Scene- Beth

Pageant Scene

Nicole- Pageant Girl No.1

Liberty- Pageant Girl No. 2

Ellie- Sarah

Beth- Presenter

After just being pushed onto the stage Sarah finds herself in the middle of a beauty pageant. Nicole, Ellie and Liberty stand in a row.

Ellie: [looks scared and shocked as she bumps into pageant girl no. 1]

Pageant Girl No. 1: Watch it!

Presenter: Okay, so that was our lovely lady number 1. And now for contestant number 2. [Nicole and Liberty begin to show off Ellie as if she is a product] Weighing in at 8st3;a slightly heavier weight than contestant number 1 [Ellie gasps, looking annoyed, whilst Nicole and Liberty hold Ellie's waist, turning her to the side to show off her stomach]. At a taller than average height, you men are going to need a pair of heels to match this woman, at 5ft7, she's a bit of a beast. None the less gentlemen, if you are a boob man look away now [Turn Ellie to show off boobs]. If this constants boobs were a battery size they'd be AAA. Equally, if you are a bum man, look away now. [Turn Ellie to show off bum]

So thank you contestant number 2, would you like to say a bit about yourself?

Ellie: Erm, well [laughs] I'm Sarah [gets cut off by presenter]

Presenter: Okay, so contestant number 2, tell us, what hobbies do you have?

Ellie: [in an intellectual voice with upright, lady-like posture] Well, sometimes I just read the dictionary for fun and I often like to play chess

Presenter and Pageant Girls [Shocked and confused]

Ellie: [Coughs, normal voice and posture again] Erm, sorry, I mean I like to fake tan. I love TOWIE [in a quieter voice] that actually stands for the Only Way Is Essex you know! And I love drinking

Presenter: Hmm, thought so. And what would you change about your body if you could?

Ellie: Definitely my face, I'm just so spotty

Presenter: Yeah, you definitely are. So contestant number 2, if you could change the world, what would you do, and more importantly, what would you do for women?

Nicole and Liberty physically change bending over to become table. Ellie now changes to a strong, bold woman in a election

Ellie: If I could change the world, women will no longer be slaves! Women will stand tall amongst men, with the right to work, the right to vote, the right to be heard! Women will have a voice and we will be heard! [Change back to pageant, Ellie change back to 'normal' Sarah] Well, if I was in power, I would definitely make sure all women get laid on a night out, free fake tans for everyone, and the right to boobs jobs for those with my condition!

Presenter: [sarcastically claps] Thank you. So now we'll start the bidding at £5 [speaking directly to audience. Nicole and Liberty now become men bidding for Ellie. With their backs to the audience with an exaggerated male posture] do I here more than £5?

For contestant number 2, can I get £10? Anyone? £10? You sir, anything?

Liberty: I'll give you £20, for this woman.

Presenter: £20! Do I hear anymore than £20? No....going...gone. Sold to the gentleman in the front! Come and collect your prize.

This scene leads on to date scene with Ellie

Why am I such a joker?!

So just wrote a script for the 'Pizza Piece' spot advert and its hillarious (hope you think so too). Here it is gang...

Spot Advert

 

Transition from pageant scene ‘ohh chez I look like a pizza…’

(Ellie, Liberty and Nicole mime looking in the mirror distraught and frantically try to squeeze/conceal their face)

Bum bum bum etc Pepperoni look at your zits bum bum bum bum, you’ve got a zit and you look like a twit bum bum bum please cover up that disastrous face bum bum bum girl please you look a disgrace.   

 

Beth: Ever wondered why you seem to be the only one in the world trying to mask your face every time you take a step out the front door? Introducing ‘pizza piece’! The only spot treatment that actually works in getting rid of those pesky pepperoni slices you try so hard to conceal.

(Girls take a small bottle and stare at it in amazement)

Nicole: It’s the only treatment for me

Liberty: I wouldn’t use anything else

Ellie: Every girls must have

(Girls transition in to tableau)

Beth: Send your confidence sky high with the new ‘Pizza Piece’ buster pack only £ at any local store or online at…

Girls: WWW.bustthosezits.pizza.piece

Nicole: So come on girls what are you waiting for?

Liberty: Your prince charming awaits

Ellie: And he won’t wait any longer staring at a face like that

Girls: Say no to a pepperoni topping and yes to a smooth base

(Transition back in to pageant scene and continue with line ‘I mean what is actually good about being a woman?’)

Nicole- 1950 housewife advertisments to maybe incorporate into our piece have already used 'HOOVER'

Nicole - Development of Hairdressers scene. Transitions included will post up the script for the scene that will connect the tea party/ physical imprisonment and this scene tomorrow :)

Development on the Hairdressers Scene

 

Present:

 

Ellie- Sarah

 

Liberty- Liz

 

50’s:

 

Beth- Mary

 

Nicole- Rose

 

Liz: Well a boob job would be right at the top of my Christmas list if I had your mozzie bites.

 

Sarah: Ohh piss off!

 

All swap crossed leg whilst doing so

 

Liz & Mary: Soo…

 

Mary: How’s Roger?

 

Rose: Yes he’s- he’s fine.

Liz: How’s that fella you’ve been talking to?

 

Sarah: Yeah he’s alright.

 

Mary: So everything is okay now you know you-

 

Rose- Yes why wouldn’t be? Everything was fine in the first place Mary.

 

Mary: Are sure?

 

Places hand on knee.

 

Liz: So have you texted him in the last three days?

 

Sarah: (distracted by magazine) What- err nah not really.

 

Liz: Babe…I don’t think he’s interested.

 

Places had on shoulder.

 

Rose & Sarah shrug them off.

 

Both: I dunno/ don’t know

 

Mary: Are you going to be trying for a baby soon? You don’t want to leave it too long- times a ticking. (Lifts Rose’s right arm up into a watch position)

 TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK…. (continues while Liz talks to Sarah)

 

Liz: But you need to find someone soon Sez otherwise you‘re going to be a virgin for life. Times a ticking (Sarah and Rose’s watch position arms become linked – Mary and Liz say TICK TOCK X4 together whilst Sarah and Rose perform twitchy head movements finishing on the last TOCK looking at each other arms remain linked.

 

All: CHIP CHOP. (Liz and Mary slap hands and stand up whilst Sarah and Rose unravel arms by straightening with a scissor symbol shown through hands. They perform a sequence with the head on each CHIP CHOP that is said for another X4 just by Liz and Mary till the reach their places and are examining the client’s hair.

 

HD 1 & 2 pull back the girls head so they are looking up to them.

 

HD 1 & 2: So what brings you here today then?

 

Sarah: Well, I’ve got a date, so you know I need to look my best

 

Rose: Well my husband wanted to treat me I guess!

 

HD 1: Not on the pull tonight then ay? Don’t want a vajazzle to spice up the ol’ sex life?

 

Sarah: (sniggers) What sex life? Nah, not today- bit nervous to be honest, I don’t do dates. I normally just look after my friends when we go out but Liz just says I’m a cock block.

 

Rose: It will have to quick trim, I have to get home you see! Need to get the dinner ready before he gets back from work. Oh, you must love working here- so much freedom?!

 

HD2: Yeah well you see all these women slaving away at home and for what? For their husbands to beat them about, it’s not for me. That’s why I chose to be more independent!

 

Rose: Gosh well my husband would never beat me about- anyway we shouldn’t really be speaking about this in such a public-

 

HD2: It’s a hairdresser’s love you’re suppose to have a gossip! What’d you expect!

 

HD1: Do you know what love; I’m going to make you look so beautiful. You won’t even recognise yourself.

 

Sarah : I don’t know if I like the sound of that.

 

HD1: He’ll love it.

 

HD 1 & 2 transition into men.

 

HD2: (Wolf whistles nudging with HD1 and shouting across to Sarah who has jumped out of her seat and in a flirtatious pose) OI OI sexy!

 

Straight away HD1 turns across the back of the chair whilst Rose is frantically mixing ingredients together.

 

HD1: Honey I’m hommmmeee!

 

HD1 strolls across the front of the chairs and touches Sarah’s chin affectionately pushing her back into her chair while HD2’S HAND slides down Rose’s chest at the same time they say:

 

HD1 & HD2: Soo beautiful…

 

Sarah & Rose: OOOOO! (look at each other)

 

Mood changes to an aggressive one and continues in the same way as the old script.